Pardon the Interruption: Self Celebrity

Well I'm athletic, smart, good looking, charming, wise beyond my years, and completely full of myself. I can write pretty well. I can dress my ass off, most dudes around me bite off me all the time. I have the attitude of someone who has already made it. Today I was called "Tom Cruise risky business" on the train. SMH, its actually pretty hilarious. I look nothing like him, he is white last time I checked. But anyways everywhere I go I make my presence known. I am though a bit of an asshole and that always gets me into hot water. I have to work on that, no one likes a dick. But the peeps around me do rub off, so the kid is a lot nicer and a lot smoother. Pardon the interruption, now back to the topic.